Monday, September 2, 2013

Lady Gaga has Sex Dreams in Camden, and six other songs you may have missed

"When I'm without you, I can't live," bleated Lady Gaga at the iTunes festival last night, buttering up her fans like hot muffins. "When were in this space together we make the most beautiful thing in the world," she added. "We belong, don't we?"

OH GOOD GOD, WOMAN, GIVE IT A REST. Gaga's fawning nonsense wasted approximately a quarter of her 60-minute set at the Roundhouse. Is there a more sickening pop star vice than naked narcissism? Gaga dresses up this "mother monster" thing as a mutual relationship but, let's be clear, she's the one getting her ego stroked. At great length.

But when she finally got around to playing some music, you could (almost) forgive her. Manicure and Artpop sounded better, conceptually and melodically, than anything on Born This Way. My favourite was Sex Dreams, which sounded like the sort of thing Prince would have given Vanity 6 back in 1984. Here's some rehearsal footage:

But Gaga wasn't the only pop star unveiling new songs this weekend. Here's a quick round-up.

1) Arctic Monkeys - Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You
Lord knows what's gotten into Alex Turner but his new songs all sound like they were written by a randy teenager ("I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you").

Stop The World... is a non-album b-side but it's as lurid and licentious as Do I Wanna Know? In other words: it's bloody good.

2) Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
I always suspected the next track from Miley's new album (hilariously named BANGERZ) would be a little more palatable than the "look at me being all growed up" antics of We Can't Stop. And so it proves to be: Wrecking Ball is a stonking mega-ballad that will soundtrack X Factor winner montages for weeks to come.

3) Skream - Rollercoaster feat Sam Frank
You see the name Skream and you think "ah yes, the man who threw ball bearings in a dustbin and called it Dubstep". Well, this is nothing of the sort: A happy, slinky disco groove which veers dangerously close to Jamiroquai territory, but will win you over anyway.

4) Anna Calvi- Eliza
"Anna Calvi runs through the forest and the elements," says the YouTube description for Anna Calvi's new single. It means "Anna gets wet in the rain", rather than "Anna bursts through solid plates of magnesium and calcium" - which is either disappointing or magnificent, depending on how much phwoarr Anna generates in your loins.

5) Cher Lloyd - I Wish fest TI
Stealing Riffing on the chorus from Skee-Lo's I Wish, this is the first song from Cher Lloyd's second album. It's catchy enough, if you like that sort of thing.

6) Oh Land - Renaissance Girls (Nick Zinner remix)
I must have watched Oh Land's video for Renaissance Girls 100 times by now, and the choreography still makes me grin like a dolphin. Now it's been remixed by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Nick Zimmerman, who gives the song a more strident, military beat but does nothing to diminish it's kooky charm. Move forward, move forward.

Now... what on earth am I going to blog about for the rest of the week?

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