Thursday, July 4, 2013

Justin Timberlake: An open letter to the ladies

Hi, I'm Justin Timberlake: Renowned actor, celebrity golfer and part-time musican. Lately, I've been thinking about you, ladies. Specifically, why do you wear clothes? Because, after many long, sleepless nights in my round circular bed, I have come to the conclusion that ladies do not need clothes at all.

Think about it. Clothes are expensive. And I have noticed that lady clothes are even more expensive than man clothes. Girls, you could be spending that money on more important things: Silk bedsheets, succulent lobster, and novelty erotic toys.

In addition, I once read in Playboy magazine that brassieres are a symbol of male oppression. You just have to say the word and I will assist you in removing those brassieres.

Although I might need some help with the clasp.

And once you are free from the shackles of the misogynist patriarchy, would you dance for me in a music video? In the buff? I will, of course, remain fully-clothed throughout.

Then I will freak you doggy-style.

Justin Timberlake - Tunnel Vision (EXPLICIT)

On a more serious note: Why have all these artists suddenly decided to fill their videos with gratuitous nudity? First John Legend, then Robin Thicke, now this. It's like US R&B has just discovered Nuts magazine. And, as with the readers of that "gentleman's publication", they all just come across as creeps. Give it a rest.

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