Monday, January 14, 2013

Justin Timberlake's new single is here

Justin Timberlake bought a stake in MySpace not so long ago so NATURALLY his new single premiered there. And can anyone remember their MySpace password? Can they fuck.

Oh, and even if you do by chance remember your login details, the entire site is a jumbled mess of badly coded white space, overlapping images and buttons you can't click*.

At least Justin can see where all his money has gone, eh?

Luckily, someone at the label had the foresight to put the single up on JT's official website, too. So it is possible to hear it without visiting a dark, dead corner of the internet. The song's called Suit and Tie and here's what happens.

1) A stoned horn section plays the fanfare from Benny Hill at the wrong speed.

2) Uh-oh, we're in slow jam territory. Justin sings "I'll be on my suit and tie shit," which is a disturbing mental image if nothing else.

3) We're 45 seconds in and suddenly the pace ramps up. Here comes that trademark Justin Timberfalsetto, telling us about "romancing" a "lady" on the "dancefloor".

4) The lyrics are about putting on your glad rags for a night out. Judging by the tone of the song, they're going somewhere nicer than the nearest Nandos. Justin is "all pressed up in black and white" and his young partner is "dressed in that dress I like". You know - this one.

5) Boring fact: The snare drum sounds a lot like the echoey Pringles pop from Andrea True's disco classic More, More, More.

6) Justin is promising to "show you a few things", including this YouTube video about a shark.

7) Hmmm... We're onto the second chorus and the song isn't really going anywhere. Don't get me wrong, it's smooth like peanut butter, recalling the sweeter side of 90s swing like Donnell Jones or Michael Jackson's Remember The Time - but it doesn't shout "stop everything AT ONCE" in the way SexyBack did 85 years ago or whenever.

8) Totally unnecessary Jay-Z rap section for the urban demographic.

9) Extended two-minute coda over which Justin ad libs sweet nothings about taking his "lady" back home.

10) When they get there, do you think the lady will ask him to put on Rock Your Body instead?

All in all, pleasant enough. You can imaging Justin had great fun recording it - it's relaxed and cheery. A neat reference to the sort of pop he grew up with.

Also, the video is going to be great. The concept's simple but effective: Justin's in M&S trying on this year's Collezione range and a variety of hats. There will also be dancing.

You can buy Suit and Tie on iTunes now. And while you wait for that to download, you can look at this freshly-minted picture of Justin in a suit and tie. Ooh, synergy.

* it seems to have been fixed now, though.

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