Monday, July 16, 2012

A pictorial guide to Madonna's awful new video

There are a lot of adjectives to describe Madonna but spontaneous and carefree are not two of them. Which explains why the video for Turn Up The Radio is one big long cringe.

The "concept" (Madonna's chauffeur puts one of her songs on the radio, Madonna is happy, Madonna has an impromptu party in the back of her car) requires the pop star to interact with real humans and appear to be comfortable in their company. Given that "believable acting" is another phrase not normally associated with Madonna, this was always going to be hard work. I have provided some illustrations below.

Here is Madonna pretending to be excited to meet her fans.
It looks like she is telling them to fuck off.

Here is Madonna pretending to befriend a street dancer.
She looks like she would rather be stung to death by wasps.

Here is a man pretending to be one of Madonna's legion of fans.
He is clearly a security guard.

Here is Madonna pretending to do a laugh.
She looks like she is about to eat an imaginary burger.

Here is Madonna pretending to be sexually aroused by her own thigh.
She looks like she is trying to remove an imaginary ketchup stain from the imaginary burger she ate earlier.

Here is Madonna pretending to have the cleavage of a woman half her age.
Actually, this bit works quite well.

The full five-minute extravaganza but it's posted below for your edification. Handy hint: It's actually very enjoyable if you close your eyes.

Madonna - Turn Up The Radio

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