Friday, March 23, 2012

Tulisa's solo single - the internet speaks

What a strange couple of days it has been in the world of Tulisa Constantinoplebus. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, nor am I going to say anything about it. Instead, let's look instead at the second video she's put out this week, for her new solo single Young.

Taking its cue from the Calvin Harris vs Rihanna school of ravepop, this is pure mindless nonsense, specifically designed to ramp up your BPMs. It's too derivative and SHOUTY for my iPod, but I am a crotchety old man so I'm hardly the target market for a song that repeats the line "we are young" approximately 8,467 times.

So, for some much-needed balance, I turn to the educated citizens YouTube to garner some insight into the song from their carefully-crafted comments.

:: "It's quite a good tune that young people can relate to" [Charleiigh Merrygold]

:: "Sounds quite good, really catchy. But I keep expecting that dappy or fazer will start rapping." [Glambertx]

:: "You should release this song early since most people will not buy it and just youtube rip this" [The Dinosaur Kitteh - clearly a marketing executive at Island]

:: "If I randomly heard this on the radio, I wouldn't care who's song it is because it sounds like any other okay pop song." [Essman]

:: "She just can't scrub off her chavness unfortunately, and it makes her music less sellable (for lack of a better word)." [Gerald Bean - seemingly unaware that there is a better word, and that word is marketable.]

:: "This will go straight to Number 1." [BiebaahhFevahh]

:: "How nice of her to include a nod to THAT OTHER VIDEO at 2:39. The whole thing's cynical, cringe-inducing and obviously a very well strategically planned PR campaign." [we love mayo]

I think that's what you call "a mixed bag".

Tulisa - Young

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