Tuesday, October 11, 2011

It's a girl band knockout

As the various members of Soundgirl, Parade and Two Shoes will attest, it's been a tough 12 months for girl bands. For the first time in years, the boys are winning the big battle of chartpop - its JLS, One Direction, The Wanted and Take That against the poor old Saturdays -- and one of them can't put up a proper fight because she's all pregnant.

Nonetheless, record labels are busy trying to redress the gender balance by signing a raft of ladyband wannabes. Here are five of the best.

They are: Jessica, Nicky and Tasie

Average age: 19 and two-thirds

Evil svenagli figure: Jo Whiley's husband, Steve Morton

Working with: Cameron McVey (Sugababes) and John Fortis (Ellie Goulding)

For people who like: The first Sugababes album

Random Twitter quote: "I am watching The Day after Tomorrow and eating chocolate and peanut butter out of the jar" (Tasie Woowoo)

What's that name about?: It is in tribute to their friend's boat, which was called WooWoo, and definitely nothing to do with a lady's front bottom.

Do they have a single? They do, and they have called it Fizzy Lettuce

What the... why? According to Nicky: "Fizzy lettuce is 'off' / expired so we took that idea and applied it to idea of a person slowly expiring."

Fizzy Lettuce by WooWoos

2) RD
They are: Troy, Chronz and Martika

Average age: 20.33333

Evil svenagli figure: N-Dubz

Working with: Geeneus (Katy B), Katy B (Katy B), Naughty Boy (Chipmunk)

For people who like: The fourth Sugababes album

Random band quote: "We have a habit of really needing to go to the toilet before we go on stage. It makes us perform better" (Holy Moly)

What's that name about?: It's an acronym for Ruff Diamondz

YouTube comment "saw them at wemberley with olly murs pixxie lott e.c.t They were alright, there outfits were chavvy but they look ok in the vid x"

Do they have a single? Got Me Burnin' came out two weeks ago and went nowhere

RD - Got Me Burnin'

They are: Courtney, Alex and Karis

Average age: 19 and two-thirds

Evil svenagli figure: Jo Perry (a British songwriter, not the hairy guy out of Aerosmith)

Working with: Jo Perry (still not the Aerosmith dude)

For people who like: TLC, The Cookie Crew and profanity

Random YouTube comment: "What on earth have I just witnessed?"
(The Brendanio001)

What's that name about?: The girls say that "the word ‘stoosh’ means expensive, or it could mean stuck up, or it means to hide something or to be rude. Then an E is added to make the word ‘she’ at the end."

Do they have a single? Yes, and it is called Betty Woz Gone

What's the lyrical content like? It's funny you should ask. There's a lyric video below. Make sure your mum's not in the room.

Betty Woz Gone

They are: Aino and Caroline

Average age: 24 and a half

Evil svenagli figure: None, for they are Beyoncé-style Independent Women

Working with: Patrick Berger (Robyn), The Knocks (The Knocks)

For people who like: Video game soundtracks, Ladytron and excessive use of the melodica

Random band quote: "We are really looking forward to Ainos famous vegetarian Gambian BBQ" (Swide magazine interview)

What's that name about?: It translates from Swedish as "pop icon"

What are they saying on Twitter "oh fasen vad härligt. Låt oss dansa tillsammans i neon. Ses på lördag!xx" (Twitter)

Do they have a single? Of course. It's called Nights Like This

Is the video inspired by any key works of 1990s feminist cinema? Only if you count Thelma And Louise

Icona Pop - Nights Like This

5) OH MY!
They are: Alex and Jade

Average age: 19 and one half

Evil svenagli figure: Ravetacular pop gentleman Example

Example's amazing PR quote: "Two girls. Late teens. Both from up north. Gorgeous girl next door looks. One of them can do a backflip - like Mel C not like Aston." (Popjustice)

Working with: Dmitri (Nicola Roberts), The Saturdays (ie they are going on tour with The Saturdays)

For people who like: Mini Viva, Bananarama

What's that name about?: The girls chose it as a tribute to Tweet's incredible R&B "jam" Ooops (Oh My!)

Random Twitter comment "Today we have been to fashion shows! i want to see girls with boobs!!!!!! Some of the models we saw need a mcdoalds or noodles and hotdogs!" (Twitter)

Do they have a single? Oh My! are in between singles right now. Forthcoming chart smash Dirty Dancer can be heard on their mixtape. Meanwhile, here's an earlier effort called Kicking And Screaming.

RD - Kicking And Screaming

So that's five - but there are more. Plenty more. And at least one that I can't tell you about which is VERY EXCITING INDEED. Will any of them trouble the Top 40? Who can tell... But let me know what you reckon in the comments or on twitter.

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