Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I hope he doesn't get shingles...

You can tell Tinie Tempah has arrived in the major league because his new video was filmed standing on a rooftop in America. No, really. Standing on a rooftop is a music industry rite of passage that officially means you are A Big Deal. The Drifters even wrote a song about it.

To put it another way: No-one is going to waste all that imposing imagery on The Saturdays or Olly Murs. Even Take That didn't get to stand on a rooftop until the Rule The World video. Standing on rooftops says "I am important. I am somebody. I am allowed up here and you are not. I have access to untold riches and unspoiled urban vistas. And also the janitor's keys."

While drinking in the grandiose majesty of Tinie Tempah's newly exalted altitudinal position, there are a few other things to spot in this video. .

Eric's house

1) Singer Eric Turner has had to pawn all of his worldly possessions to pay for his Grand Piano. He sleeeps inside it at night, and is unable to shave. Furthermore, he is trapped in a featureless apartment and is definitely not allowed on the roof at this moment in time.

Jayden Smith probably

2) This fella is pretending to be the young Tinie Tempah, even though he is sitting on a basketball court in America and the real Tinie Tempah grew up in the smoky London suburb of Plumstead (FACT: All of Plumstead was once a monastery). He is suffering financial hardship, which you can tell because his school jotter has no staples in it to hold the pages together. Poor young fake Tinie Tempah.

Some girls or something

3) These are some Mean Girls who are laughing at Tinie Tempah's misfortune (or they have just done some sick in their mouths, it is hard to tell). They will never amount to anything. In years to come, they will still be standing on ground level, peering through the wire fence of this basketball court at other losers who have made nothing of their lives, a bit like that scene in The Wire once.

Tinie does air guitar

4) Here is Tinie Tempah at the end of the video, standing on his private rooftop.
With no-one around to see him, he is grinding out a solo on his imaginary "axe".

The moral here, folks, is that you can rise all the way from the basketball courts to the top of a skyscraper, but you will always be that same doofus who pulls a "meaningful" face every time you hear a guitar solo. Which is pretty heartwarming, is it not?

Tinie Tempah feat Eric Turner - Written In The Stars

[Sadly, the full clip is only available on YouTube. Click here to have a squizz.]

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