Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The worst singles of 2008

Our annual totally unbiased rundown of the top ten singles and albums of the year is due between Christmas and 2009 - but here's something new: Five terrible singles from the last 12 months - chosen with extreme prejudice and complete subjectivity. Stinkers, the lot of them.

Duffy - Rain On Your Parade

Clearly a cast-off from the Rockferry recording sessions, this was repackaged as a single to promote the "special" edition of Duffy's album. Still, even that wasn't as cynical as the video's attempt to rebrand Duffy as a sex symbol (She gets her legs out! She's absolutely in her 20s and anyone who says otherwise is just jealous! Your dad definitely would!) They should have released Distant Dreamer instead.

Blackout Crew - Put A Donk On It

Amazingly, this song is not intended to be a joke.

Sugababes - Girls

The Sugababes spend a lot of time prattling on about how they're the "credible alternative" to Girls Aloud and other pop acts. So why did they base this single on a ropey sample from a commercial for a high street chemists? Because they wanted to have a number one. It backfired. Ha!

Avenue - Last Goodbye

Dear Universal Music Group: If you are going to spend a lot of time and effort "reinventing" the boyband, it would be best not to rely on all the clichés that seemed hackneyed in 1999 (There's a pretty-but-sexually-ambiguous one! There's a bit of rough! There's two who can dance! And a minger on the piano! They'll appeal to teenage girls and the gays!). Thank you, bye bye.

Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

Okay, it's not that bad - but I had to do something to counter Rolling Stone, who named it the best single of the year. What a load of old guff.

:: Agree? Disagree? Put your nominations in the comments box!

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