Saturday, May 10, 2008

Fallen Madonna

So, did you see Madonna's performance at Radio One's Big Weekend? What a shocker - and I'm not just talking about those veiny forearms...

Perhaps it was the unseasonal UK heatwave but Madonna's voice (never the best, admittedly) was shot to pieces, particularly in the lower registers. There was also a lot of miming. And I mean a lot of miming. Not that it would have mattered if the dancing had been anything better than average. For the most part, it was of the stike-a-pose-walk-to-next-spotlight-strike-a-pose-sing-for-a-bit variety. Pedestrian, in other words.

The decision to rework Hung Up with a grungy guitar riff was great. But letting Madge sing the first virse a capella was less inspired, and only marginally less embarassing than her attempt to sing the Stones' Satisfaction. And if I were Rocco or Lourdes, the sight of my 50-year-old mum making noises of sexual ecstasy in front of 10,000 people would be enough to trigger some kind of traumatic stress disorder.

Things picked up towards the end. Give It 2 Me was energetic and playful, with Mrs Ritchie donning a pair of nerdsome spectacles for the sexy secretary look, and Music - mixed with Fedde Le Grand's Put Your Hands Up For Detroit - provided a rousing end to the festivities.

Based on the evening's evidence, Madonna needs to ditch the dreary Hard Candy tracks and pull off more of those show-stopping set pieces when she launches her tour in Cardiff this summer.

Madonna - Give It 2 Me (Live in Maidstone)

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