Friday, February 8, 2008

Girls Aloud break indie in two!

If reports are to be believed, the entire world of indie has gone into meltdown over a Girls Aloud B-side. The song in question is called Hoxton Heroes, and the band have only released a 30-second snippet so far. Here it is:

And here are the lyrics:

You're off your face like you're number one
How many tracks have you sold? Hmmm, none
Walk round the place like you're number one
So why don't you write a tune that we can hum?

Just 'cos your dad knew the Rolling Stones
You've got the Primrose set in your cellphone
Don't kid yourself you're an indie clone
We've seen it before, get a sound of your own.

How inflammatory, eh readers?

Over at the NME messageboards, 'ver kids' are up in arms because (brace yourself) the title is lifted from the lyrics of an indie record.

"Why steal the title from a hadouken! song?" asks Alexelworthy. "You sad sad under-acheiving bunch of whelks."

NB: Girls Aloud were not molluscs last time we checked.

On the girl group's Myspace page, someone has even gone to the trouble of signing up and applying to be added as a friend in order to post the following sage thoughts. "THATS A DISGUSTING TRACK! AND THAT SONG SOUNDS RUBBISH ANY WAY. AND THATS COMING FROM A MUSIC STUDENT! WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU SLUTS!!!"

Sadly, this sexism reflects the general tone of the debate. Alisoon Fersure calls Girls Aloud "tarts", Kay123x notes they are "bimbo clones" while Zoo-niverse says they "give women a bad name".

What this has to do with anything is unclear. Perhaps women's opinions don't count unless they look like Beth Ditto.

But my favourite comment of all is this: "pop = no credibility, indie nd anything else = credibility. u suck". From next week, the NME will be using this gem as their strapline.

But, while it's endlessly amusing to watch a group of teenagers having kittens over a pop song, what they all seem to be missing is that it isn't even an attack on their precious indie heroes.

It's an attack on bad indie, and the hangers-on it attracts. It's about the Kooks copying Razorlight as their drama school dissertation. It's about talentless liggers like Peaches Geldof and Kimberley Stewart latching onto these bands and claiming kudos because "their dads knew the Rolling Stones".

Hadouken! have even come out in defence of the song on their own website. "Hadouken would like to distance themselves from any offensive remarks and criticisms voiced by their fans towards the five ladies collectively known as Girls Aloud... Should the girls require any assistance or support in the epic battle against the evil forces of indie rock, particularly on their forthcoming tour, Hadouken would be keen to oblige in any way possible." (this comment was quietly removed overnight. I have no idea why).

But, as always, the last word should go to the eminently sensible Peter Robinson over at Popjustice HQ.

"The song might make more sense if melodic guitar music hadn't decimated the pop landscape and if Girls Aloud hadn't been quite happily embraced by most portions of the Hoxton set. Basically, it would need to be sung by Westlife six years ago to make real sense - but it is an 'enjoyable romp' nonetheless."


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