Monday, June 25, 2007

It's the brilliant new Spice Girls single!

...except it's seven years old and it's not that brilliant. Oh dear.

For those of you who don't know, this is what's happening: On Friday, 19 Management announced the Spice Girls would be making an, erm, announcement this week. That's not due 'til Friday, but already a single and Greatest Hits album have appeared on the release schedules for later this year. For better or worse, it seems, they are reforming.

The single, W.O.M.A.N, was recorded for the Spice's third album but left off because it was "too pop" and the band wanted to go for a more mature, R&B sound that would send them headfirst into the dumper.

While it will probably make it to number one on nostalgia alone, the song sounds terribly dated now. Particularly the lyrics, which really put the utter naffness of Girl Power into perspective:
And now we're industry players.
Wearing G-stings, taking meetings, putting music to beats.

Because, you see, the key question on the 'Would you like to be head of Sony BMG' application pack is "How many G Strings do you possess, and are you willing to wear them to address the shareholders?"

Actually, this autumn could be an interesting time. Kylie, the Spices, Britney and Girls Aloud are all on the comeback trail and, while they're assured a gush of press coverage, I get the feeling they've all spent too long ashore and the HSS Pop has sailed off without them. Amy Winehouse, Rihanna and Mika are currently captain, first mate and - I don't want to lower myself to this sort of cheap innuendo but what the heck - Seaman Stains. I reckon that, with stormy seas ahead for the music industry, we may see the old guard of pop aristocracy being made to walk the plank (that's quite enough of this dreadful seafaring metaphor - ed.)

On another topic completely, did anyone see CSS at Glastonbury? Amazing!

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