Friday, January 5, 2007

Mika is coming: Watch out!

Beirut-born fey pop twiglet Mika has been named the next big thing in the BBC's prestigious Sound of 2007 poll.

If you haven't heard of him yet, you had better get an opinion soon - because "the media" is getting it's big old granny knickers in a frightful twist over this flamboyant fop.

Here is a sample of what they've been saying:
"One-man Scissor Sisters" - Q Magazine
"Mika might resemble a young Leo Sayer" - The Guardian
"Unashamedly commercial" - The Times
"Every so often an artist comes along with hit written all over them" - Colin Martin, Radio 2
"One of the quirkier artists to emerge from England" - The New York Post
"Better than a kick in the cunt" - Popjustice

What they're all driving at, though, is that Mika will succeed because he sounds like people who are already famous. Robbie Williams, Scissor Sisters, Freddie Mercury, The Feeling - these are all names that have been bandied about. But is that really enough? Let's look at some more Mika facts:

  • He has a suspiciously small CD collection
  • He went to the uber-posh Westminster school and the Royal College of Music
  • His single, Grace Kelly, features the lyric "Why Don't You Like Me" over and over again
  • He says he is not a pop star but an "artist"
  • He refuses to discuss his 'ambiguous' sexuality

    Oh dear. Perhaps a video of Mika performing his single, Grace Kelly, will stave off that humongulous yawn you were summoning:

    Hmmm... perhaps not. But let's just have a look at another video, by vaudeville Canadian rocker Hawksley Workman, for comparison purposes.

    Do you think, readers, that Mika might have seen Hawksley at some point and thought to himself: "Oooh, I could do something like that - only gay"?

    I'm saying nothing.

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