Monday, August 21, 2006

Robbie's new single: Super or shit?

It's all very well being Robbie Williams and getting radio to "play" your "single", Rudebox, at the drop of a hat, but is the song any bloody good? Here is a scientific measurement:

super robbie
  • Not as turgid as any of the tracks on his last 3 albums
  • Samples Boops (Here We Go) by Sly & Robbie
  • Contains the lyric "Take both pills - fuck The Matrix"

    shit robbie

  • Still not as good as the rap bit at the end of Kids
  • Not as good as Boops (Here We Go) by Sly & Robbie
  • Contains the lyric "Make your body shake like you're stood on a landmine"

    Oh, and also...

  • Robbie delivers every line in a manner that suggests he is so bored he would rather be pissing on his own face
  • The title is a sub-par schoolground euphemism for "twat"

    To my eternal joy, I have a promo CD of this masterpiece, which has arrived at Discopop Towers a mere four weeks after everybody else got their copy. Would you like it? Because I really don't.

    The first person to email with proper justification for wanting to own this musical atrocity gets it posted through their rudebox by the end of the week.

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